Fear Factor: LEP Edition 2
by Amy Shadows
Summary: You all asked for it, so here it is! Featuring everyone's favorite evil TV host, Foaly! There are four newbies up for the title and two returning faces. Next chapter: The First Stunt pt 1. I told you I would update!
1. The New Batch

I don't own Artemis Fowl or Fear Factor, there, done with the disclaimer. Please Read and Review, but no flamies, those are mean. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying typing it. And yes, I am enjoying it.

I'd also like to thank everyone who reviewed my last story, so here it goes, Thanks to Sora, it's cool to know when people like my work, thanks to VampirePeaches, I know the feeling, I hate having to sign in and sign out and in and out (and I explain what happens after the agreeing to do the credits thing, I just figured Arty would be madder at Foaly than at Holly by this point), thanks to Angela Dawne, I'm totally loving your work, keep it up! Thanks to The OddBird for giving such great reviews, you're awesome!!! Thanks to Ryu-Gi, see, I'm doing another eppy! Thanks to Hollywood Dreams, can't wait to read your fic! It sounds cool. Thanks to KageOni1, your guess was right. Thanks to everyone else, you're all great inspiration and I hope to see more great fics from you all in the future.

(And also, I realize that some of the things I've written are a little OOC, I got a complaint about that in Artemis Painkillers BAD, but I think if you read that story thoroughly you'll realize, it is sort of the point. Sometimes things aren't as good if they don't go off a little bit. I love those books, I've read them, like, 100!!! times!!! It's sort of hard to stay true to the story, now why don't we all just get along and enjoy the OOCness.

Now my ramblings are done sooooo

Let's get it on!)

The scene opens to show a very battered Foaly. He is still smiling evilly, even through what is quite obviously a painful predicament.  
  
"Welcome to another installment of Fear Factor: LEP edition. We are here now to give you an update on what's happened since the last show. As you can see my injuries given to me by Miss Holly Short are finally healing, but you all needn't worry. Artemis got back at Holly for me, and then he got back at me. But you all are in for a great show this time. Let's meet our contestants." Foaly waves his hand and you see six very unstable contestants.  
  
"What's going on here, pony-boy?" Commander Root asks.  
  
"Shut up and read your cue cards." Foaly shot back. Root glares and looks over at a pile of cards.  
  
"I'm Julius Rot...no wait," Root says squinting. He then turns back to Foaly. "There are two O's in Root."  
  
"Don't look at me, I didn't write those." Foaly said innocently. The camera pans to a very stupid looking dwarf who appears to be trying to eat his pencil.  
  
"Okay, my-name-is-Julius-Root-and-I'm-on-Fear-Factor...Wait one minute!" Root screams as he reaches into his belt in search of his Neutrino Blaster. "I never agreed to be on this show, pony-boy. Where is my gun!"  
  
"Now, now, Rot," Foaly said with a slight giggle. "This is no time for weapons. This is just a game show after all."  
  
"I saw what you did to Koboi and the Butler girl, don't even think that I'm going to let you do that to me!" Root said, taking a few steps towards the centaur. Foaly pushes a button and all of Roots muscles spasm.  
  
"After what happened at the end of the last show, I felt it would be safer if I placed irremovable shock collars around each contestant. Now let's meet contestant number two." In the background a disoriented dwarf stands up.  
  
"Waza matter," he mumbles. Foaly does a fake TV announcer laugh and looks back to the dwarf. "Where am I?"  
  
"Just read the cards." Root mutters sarcastically.  
  
"My-name-is-Mulch-Diggums-and-I-am-competing-on-Fear-Factor-for-my-freedom..." Mulch read. This line set off the LEP commander too.  
  
"You're giving him his freedom because of a stupid contest!!!" He screamed. "I could have you arrested on so many counts, Foaly, that you'd be in prison before you could even put your tin foil hat on."  
  
"Now on to our next contestant." Foaly said, interrupting the commander. In the background Root is restrained by two gnomes who proceed to tape his mouth closed. "Our returning runner up, Artemis Fowl."  
  
Artemis is in the background rubbing his temple where there is an unmistakable sleeper deeper wrapper. He pulls it off and looks towards the cameras. "No, not again."  
  
"Look how excited he is. And to liven things up a bit we have our returning champion, Holly Short!" Holly comes to in the back and begins to look around nervously. Foaly, spotting this, turns back to the camera. "Paranoia is a side effect of the sleeper deepers."  
  
"What's going on here?" Holly asked as she looked at the other three contestants. "And where is my gun."  
  
"When you find it, hand it here." Artemis whispers.  
  
"This time our introduction will only feature these four contestants, my lawyers have now figured out how to get through the Kelp brothers restraining orders and we will be joined by them shortly, so until that time let's get on with the game."  
  
"Where am I?" Holly called out again as the group started walking off in that dramatic reality show way. Root takes Holly by the arm and pulls her along. Suddenly the realization dawns. "Oh no..."

(Sorry you had to sit through my ramblings before I got to the story, but I just needed to vent that. I hope you all enjoyed it. Read, review, Party Like It's 1999 still. I don't own that song either! Don't arrest me!)


	2. Meet The Kelps

Read and Review and most importantly ENJOY!!! Sorry that I'm not including a long thank you list this time (I'll do it next chapter,) I just figured that since this is Pt. 2 to the introduction the same things apply as in pt.1  
  
Yet again, I do not own Artemis Fowl or Fear Factor  
  
Meet The Kelps  
  
Foaly had left the group behind to go and have a discussion with the Kelp lawyers. The cameras had been left behind in case of some action while he was gone. It was a typical group scene from all the annoying reality shows.  
  
"Artemis, I just wanted to apologize for making you lose the game last time," Holly said nervously. Artemis was sitting across the circle smiling maliciously.  
  
"Don't worry Holly, it's okay. You're completely forgiven." Artemis said, the smile never leaving his face.  
  
"And I promise not to pull any pranks like that this time, besides, you totally deserved it." Holly said, still just as nervously.  
  
"I know," Artemis still had that look on his face. Mulch and Root had been watching the entire conversation with looks of interest.  
  
"Maybe this show will be interesting after all," Mulch said happily. Root jabbed Mulch angrily in the side with a burning stick and Mulch shut up.  
  
"Cork it, convict. You aren't allowed an opinion."  
  
"Come on, Commander," Holly said softly. "Remember, we are all in this for one reason. Beat Foaly at his own game. We don't have time to fight amongst our selves."  
  
"Right," Artemis said. He no longer had the malicious smile; instead it was replaced by a very serious look. "First things first, one of us needs to get those sedatives away from the centaur."  
  
At that moment Foaly returned and broke up the unlikely group. They each gave him an innocent smile so that nothing was suspected. Behind the centaur was a group of dwarves carrying the Kelp brothers. Both of them had been knocked out and both had a giant bruise on their right temple.  
  
Foaly saw the terrified looks on each contestants face and smiled. "The sedatives proved to be weaker than we thought. We took necessary action." There was a unanimous swallow in the background.  
  
"Now, let's begin our competition…" Foaly started.  
  
"Wait!" They all interrupted. The Kelp brothers began to stir. Root stepped forward to try and talk to the centaur.  
  
"Foaly," he said in a calm manner that was very un-Root like. "Do you realize what you are doing here? I watched three people end up hospitalized in the last show…"  
  
"And though we all can agree that that was pretty funny…" Mulch interjected. Root prodded him with the flaming stick again.  
  
"And though we all can agree that that was pretty funny, it is dangerous! Do you really want to risk our lives, not to mention your career, to make us do stupid stunts on a reality show?" Root said, his tone changing. He couldn't help but notice Foaly's hand inching closer and closer to the shocking button.  
  
"Wait, wait, wait," Holly said, noticing the same thing. "Foaly, if you're going to shock anyone, have it be me. I'm the one that hit you, and blasted you, and the thing the courts have declared I can never discuss again…"  
  
The rest of the group began snickering. Foaly's hand lingered over the "shock everyone" button.  
  
"No!" Artemis called as he tried to pry the un-removable shock collar from his neck. "Be _rational _Foaly! You're supposed to be the calm, rational one out of this group." There was silence in which everyone started laughing, including Foaly.

Suddenly everyone was lying on the ground writhing.  
  
"That'll teach you to make jokes at my expense." Foaly said smugly. "Now, let's get on to what I was saying before. My lawyers broke through the Kelp's restraining order and the games will begin this time tomorrow. I'll let you all have tonight to recover. Count your blessings, cause if you think last time was hard wait til you see what I have in store for you now."  
  
(Read review, no flames. Did you all like it? And just as an update, my site The Fowl Files is now up for business if you'd like to join! The only character taken is Holly. It's an RPG board. Just say in your review if you checked it out and what I should change. )


	3. The First Stunt pt 1

There are no more disclaimers because they are annoying to write over and over again. If you want a disclaimer just go back and read the other chapters! Now for some thank you's! 

Angela Dawne: THANK YOU!!! You're an awesome reviewer and an even better writer. I love your work, keep it up!

The Oddbird: Your reviews are the highlights of my day! I love your work!

neutralgal: Sorry for the shortness and I hope you did good on that math exam (Math SUCKS!!!)

orangUtang100: Thanks for the review, I can't wait to read your story!!!

marie0991: Thank you!!!!!!! Spelling is tricky, especially this damn computer accuracy thing. THanks for the review, I hope you like this chapter.

And those are my thank you's for the day. Now, let's get it on!!!

The camera comes back to show six slightly singed contestants standing in the middle of a warehouse, plotting. In the background you can hear hooves coming towards the unusual bunch as the host of the show returns.

"I'm glad to see you all made it today." Foaly said evilly. "I'm guessing our anti-escape technology worked well." Foaly waited a few moments in that reality show 'I hope you're laughing, that was supposed to be funny' sort of way and then he started talking again. "Now, we decided that to spice things up a bit we would go with another path for this episodes event. A different type of challenge."

"Let me guess, it will involve being mauled, beaten, physically and emotionally destroyed, and turned into the laughing stock of the entire police force?" Holly said (pardon the pun) shortly.

"Were you reading my cue cards?" Foaly asked angrily. Holly shrugged her shoulders and quieted down. "Actually, this time we decided to use a special form of Fear Factor that the Mud Men have made popular. Couples Fear Factor."

This was greeted by quite a few shouts of anger and disbelief. Foaly smiled, completely loving all the attention this was bringing. "And to make things a bit more exciting, we got to pick who you have to couple up with."

Almost instantly it dawned on everyone who they would be partners with. Groans echoed through out the entire room. Foaly grinned. "Grub and Trouble, since you two are brothers you will be partnered up, besides, you aren't interesting enough to have an actual story go along with yours."

Grub opened his mouth to complain but Trouble stopped him. "He's right you know. Maybe in the next book Eoin will develop our characters some more."

"Now for the interesting part," Foaly said happily. He was only seconds away from jumping with joy. "Our next pair will be the winner and the runner up from last time." Holly and Artemis took a step away from each other. "This way we don't have any…" Foaly stopped to giggle for a second. "Fowl play in the final stunt."

Artemis rolled his eyes. That was probably the lamest joke he had heard, and he had heard it many times. Holly sighed and leaned back. She got the good end of the deal; there was no way he could get revenge now. At least, she HOPED there was no way he could get his revenge.

"As you have probably guessed, our last pair is our very own Commander Root with the infamous Mulch Diggums, try not to kill each other, we don't need another lawsuit." Foaly whispered to the commander. Root just nodded his head and swayed a bit, obviously drugged.

"Now, as I'm sure you're all wondering what the first stunt is, it is now time for us to take a commercial. Be right back!"

Commercial:

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"Hey everyone, I'm sticky fingers McCallister, I'll steal for you!"

If you need money

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Back to the show:

"Welcome back everyone." Foaly said in an annoying announcer voice. "It is now time to introduce our stunt. Who here likes poison?" No one raised there hands. "And who here likes frogs?" One techie raises his hand. "Good, glad to see that things will be spicing up a bit. For our first stunt we'll be using…" Foaly pulled away a sheet. "These."

In a small container sat three poison arrow frogs. Each was blood red with green spots on their backs. They looked perfectly harmless.

"Foaly, those don't look poisonous; they don't even look like they know how to chew!" Holly said. Foaly smiled and hit the container. Instantly the frogs changed into poison spitting fighting frogs. Holly recoiled.

"You just had to say something; you always have to say something." Artemis said irritably. Foaly chuckled; already the contestants were at each others throats.

"Now, through the random order process we've decided what order you'll go in." Foaly started.

"You drew names from a baseball cap again, didn't you?" Trouble said, finally speaking up.

"Hey, we have a viewer in the group! Actually we drew them from a bouffant this time. We just like saying that word."

"Makes sense, it is pretty fun." Grub whispered sarcastically. Trouble elbowed his brother in the ribs and they turned back to see who was lucky number one.

"Our first competitors for this dangerous, terrible stunt are going to be…dramatic pause…the Kelp boys!" The two groaned and walked forward.

"Are you going to actually tell us what we have to do, or will this whole game be a bunch of guesswork?" Trouble asked as he took charge of the situation, just like he always did.

"Well, I was about to tell you, but since you gave me an attitude maybe I won't." Foaly said with a pout, acting like a little child.

"Thanks a lot, Trub, now we'll be eliminated first!" Grub said with another pout. Foaly snorted slightly.

"I think it's pretty obvious that you will be anyway." He commented. The two brothers looked at each other nervously and stepped over to the waiting area where another bouffant was sitting.

"You are going to draw from this bucket the method in which you will each be transporting your poison tree frogs. There are three different methods you will get to try for. First is by mouth, which I for one am looking forward to, second there is by hand, and third is by foot. Now," Foaly said, pulling his remote out to shock them. "Draw!"

End pt. 1. Sorry about this being a two parter, but I just really needed to update so you guys didn't forget about it! So, let me know how much you liked it! Thanks for all the reviews. Read, review, and no flames!


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